Making changes, especially big ones, can be scary and confusing. It’s sometimes difficult to know what to change, let alone how to do it. Unless you dive right in, it’s more than likely that you’ll never start, or you’ll start and then won’t keep them up. Let me make it easier by suggesting a few key areas of your life that you can work on first. They’ll really make a big difference in a short time so you’re motivated to keep them up. Check out this post on 4 focus areas if you want to make real changes in your life.
#1 YOUR HOME
Everything starts at home. Home is where we come back to at the end of a long day, where our family creates the most memories and where we retreat from the world and recharge our batteries ready for the next day.
You want your home to be somewhere that you love to be, not that’s a burden on your time and energy.
You don’t want to be worrying about the state of your home, whether you need to clean it or when to get the next load of laundry on. Instead you want to be thinking about other things and saving your energy for much more fun and fulfilling stuff!
Get on top of the clutter in your home, get rid of all the unnecessary items and reduce the amount of stuff that you need to look after, tidy and clean. Develop routines for your housework so that the grime and dirty laundry doesn’t build up but gets done, little and often.
Your home will run smoothly and be much easier to look after with minimum effort from you. That means that you can spend your time and energy focusing on the next 3 focus areas which follow!
A clean, organised and decluttered home is something to aim for (and it’s great to have a home like that!). But it’s not just an end goal in itself.
The end goal is actually what you’ll gain as a result of having that kind of home. More time, more freedom and more energy for other things in life rather than housework and tidying up the toys from morning to night.
If you want help decluttering your home, here are some links that will get you started:
#2 YOUR SELF
Everything starts at home, but it also usually starts with you – the mum! We are often the glue that holds our family together, but my goodness, it’s hard work!
You need to remember that when you’re not feeling great, it’s difficult being a great mum. Motherhood usually needs us to troubleshoot all kinds of problems, be resilient, positive, supportive, self-sacrificing, fun, strong and so much more…
When we’re overloaded and worn down because we haven’t been looking after ourselves, then mum-life seems much more overwhelming and tough. We aren’t able to be there for our kids so much (physically or emotionally), we aren’t the best version of ourselves that we can be and motherhood becomes downright miserable. And the kids pick up on that…
Do yourself (and your kids) a favour and put yourself first, every now and then.
It doesn’t need to be anything major, even a short time whilst the kids are napping will do. Don’t use this time to catch up on housework, do something for YOU!
If you make looking after yourself part of your regular daily or weekly routine, you’ll start to feel so much better and more positive.
Even those hard mum days when nothing seems to go right and the kids are having a difficult day too (ok, they’re being monsters!), will seem so much more manageable when you’re generally feeling better.
Take up offers of help. Make a list of ways you can look after yourself and find time to factor them into your day or week. Don’t be afraid to say no to things that don’t feel right. Find time to prioritise yourself. It all adds up to helping you feeling stronger, more positive and more able to carry on. After all, you’re no good as a mum if you yourself are struggling most of the time.
Here are some links to help you help yourself!
#3 YOUR FAMILY
Family time is so important but so easily overlooked. These days everyone is so busy, even little kids can have full schedules with nursery or kindergarten, playdates and toddler groups. And, it often only gets busier as they get older! But family time is so important and that’s why I’ve included it here.
If you were asked to list the things in your life in order of importance, then your family would be right up there at the top of the list. So, when you’re thinking of making real changes in your life then focusing on your family should definitely feature highly!
Finding ways for your family to spend quality time together is vital and as mum, you’re probably the best one in the family to find ways to get everyone together. Start by creating some routines that the whole family can learn to get used to and stick to. For example, Friday night could be family film night, Sunday might be a family lunch for everyone or Sunday morning you all go out together to walk the dog and hike the fields. You could allow each child to take part in only one or two activities outside of school per term so you’re not being a permanent taxi service.
If your kids are older it might mean that you need to sit down together and discuss the changes you’d like to make as a family. That way everyone understands what you’re trying to do and why. Let your family have input and give their ideas as to what would work. Make it fun yet fair to all, be creative and let everyone have a say.
Come up with some strategies to help your family stick to these new routines and changes. Put a planner on the fridge door where you can all see it. At breakfast, remind everyone what’s happening later that day. Set up some kind of shared calendar with your partner so they can see what’s in the diary and make sure not to double book each other when you’re meant to be doing something as a family.
Check out these posts for some helpful tips:
#4 YOUR APPROACH
Your approach is everything. Don’t be a bystander and let your life happen TO you. Instead, be in control of your life (as much as any of us can!) and really choose which direction your life heads in.
We all have things that we have to do, but what do you WANT to do? Find a way to incorporate the things that you want to do in your life, maybe not right away but set some goals for the future. You can take baby steps for yourself now even if you have little ones and don’t get much time to yourself.
Change happens even when we don’t want it or haven’t planned it and sometimes it’s for the best and sometimes it’s not. But changes that happen because you’ve encouraged or made them happen are often the most profound and far-reaching. They happen because you’ve made a deliberate decision to shake up or improve on how things are at the moment. You’ve decided you’re not happy or things could be better and you’ve set out to make them different.
It all comes down to your approach, or in other words, your mindset. Your mindset sets you apart from others and can be the difference between achieving what you wanted and not.
So, out of all the 4 focus areas, #4 Your Approach is the one that will determine how well the other 3 areas of change go for you and your family. If you want to make positive change with a lasting outcome, having the right approach and mindset will help you make some real changes in your life.
Check out this post on how to change your mindset and achieve anything you want.
MAKING CHANGES TAKES COURAGE
I know you can do this! If you’re still reading this then you’re already open to new ideas and ways of making your life easier, simpler and better. And that can mean you’re already half way there!
Making changes can be difficult and scary, especially if you’re trying to make changes that involve other people. I hope this post has helped you identify some key areas to focus on if you’re looking to make real changes in your life. It’s a great start at least and now the rest is up to you! Remember your mindset is so important here!
I hope you found this post helpful. Do you have any more to add? If so, let me know in the comments!