5 QUICK WAYS TO HELP AND ENCOURAGE AN OVERWHELMED MUM
Motherhood can be hard at times. We get tired and worn out but need to keep going because our kids depend on us. Check out this post for 5 quick ways to help and encourage an overwhelmed mum for those times when you need some moral support and a warm hug!
DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR?
- Do you hit a mental brick wall at some point in the day because you’re so tired that you just can’t summon up enough energy to carry on?
- Are you sometimes feeling so frazzled and lacking in patience that you catch yourself shouting at the kids when you know there’s probably a better way to handle the situation?
- Maybe you feel like screaming at the top of your voice for some alone time but instead your kids are clinging to you and won’t stop asking for things or demanding your attention.
We’ve all been there I think. It’s perfectly normal and you’re only human!
How many of you have had moments when you just can’t carry on and you’re wishing for bedtime (not just for the kids but for yourself as well!)?
- Feeling desperate, overwhelmed, too much going on, too much to do
- You just need a break, a change of scene, some time by yourself, 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep
- But you just can’t seem to find the time, get some space, there’s no-one else you can call on to give you a hand and you’re ready to lose it…
Don’t panic! Be reassured that you’re not the only one who feels like this.
And definitely don’t feel that you’ve got no way out and this is just what motherhood (or some seasons of it) is supposed to be like!
Here’s some quick-fix solutions that will help restore your sanity, at least until the kids go to bed, and help you make it through the rest of the day.
5 WAYS TO ENCOURAGE AND HELP AN OVERWHELMED MUM
1. Give yourself some credit
First things first. Be kind to yourself, cut yourself some slack and give yourself a little credit for doing a tough job and doing it as well as you can.
Remind yourself that no-one is perfect. Don’t get hung up on what you should have done better or worry about failing your kids and that you’re not a good enough parent.
Your kids love you no matter what and as long as you try your best then that’s all that anyone can ask.
Say to yourself that ‘you can do this’, you might need to make a few changes around the home or to your routine (or even to how you deal with difficult situations) but that you’re strong, capable and you’ve got this! Say these words to yourself often, stick them on a post-it note on the fridge where you’ll see it every time your child asks for yet another snack!
Think positively, take a deep breath and use those positive thoughts to help you with the next few points.
2. Just get out of the house!
They say that a change of scene is as good as a break so grab the kids and just get outside.
Unless it’s torrential rain (and we all struggle when it’s raining hard and being stuck indoors with the kids for too long) you can put on some appropriate clothing for the weather and just get going. The kids can be strapped into a buggy, bring a football, scooter, bike – it doesn’t matter just as long as you get out of the house for a while.
How long is up to you, but seeing something other than just your usual four walls and feeling the wind, even the rain or snow, on your face can be invigorating, gets the blood pumping and changes your perspective on your emotions. The added bonus, of course, is that the kids might get worn out in the process!
3. Take 10 minutes for yourself
Don’t underestimate the power of a 10-minute sit down with a cup of tea or coffee.
Treat the kids to a few minutes in front of a favourite TV programme or some other screen time. Don’t worry about this making you a bad parent for employing an electronic baby-sitter. This is purely for you to recharge your batteries and remember that it will make you a better mum than how you’d be without it.
You don’t need to be too ambitious and attempt to read a book as well, but just pop the kettle on, make a hot drink, sit down and enjoy it. Don’t be tempted to try to do anything else apart from sit down and savour the taste.
At the very most, perhaps have a notebook and pen handy so you can jot down how you’re feeling and perhaps begin to work through what triggers those feelings and why (this is key to knowing what to do about it!).
Enjoy relaxing, let your mind wander, come up with a plan of what you’re going to do when you’ve finished your tea and how you’re going to handle the rest of the day.
4. Turn up the music, sing and dance
You can do this one with the kids. It will just change the pace of the day and give you a buzz.
Your kids might not expect it and you may be the coolest mum on the planet (especially if you know all the lyrics).
Music and movement has an amazing effect on the body and the mind so give it a go and feel the endorphins flow!
5. Write a quick gratitude list
Make a list of 5 things that you are grateful for in your life.
This is always a good way of getting some perspective back and for reminding you how lucky you actually are. It’s so easy to lose sight of the bigger picture when we’re feeling momentarily overwhelmed and can’t think straight and that’s not to belittle how bad we’re feeling right now.
Don’t overthink what you write on the list, just put down the first things that come to mind and really let them sink in as you write them. Perhaps use a colourful kid’s marker pen to make it jump out at you! Get your kids to write their own gratitude list for a bit of fun and insight for you into what they’re thinking.
Stick it on your fridge along with those positive mantras or affirmations we talked about earlier!
It’s very difficult to have a bad day or let negative emotions take over when you realise that you already have so much to be grateful for.
CONSIDER MAKING SOME BIGGER CHANGES
These are 5 quick ways to get you back on track when everything’s gotten on top of you. They will help you in the here and now.
But, perhaps in the longer term you could start to think about other ways to make your life simpler and easier.
- declutter your home so there’s less stuff for you to clear up and tidy away
- create more time for yourself by simplifying your calendar and prioritising what’s important to you and your family
- establish routines which mean that your home runs smoothly even when life is busy and chaotic
- make a little space for yourself and treat your bedroom as a sanctuary
- choose calm over chaos