Decluttering Relationships and Why It’s Good for Us

We often hear about decluttering our homes, our closets, and our digital spaces, but what about our relationships? Just like our physical spaces, our relationships can sometimes become cluttered with negativity, toxicity, and unnecessary drama.

Decluttering relationships means evaluating and prioritising the people in our lives who bring us joy, support, and positivity while distancing ourselves from those who don’t.

Here’s why decluttering relationships is important and how you can start the process.

CREATING DISTANCE WITHOUT FEELING MEAN OR SELFISH

Before we dive into the benefits of decluttering your relationships, I wanted to touch on something which might be in the back of your mind as you read this article.

Many of us are people-pleasers, a characteristic that we often develop over the years. Decluttering relationships may make us feel guilty or selfish for prioritising our needs over those of others.

Or we might be fearful that we’re missing out on potential opportunities. Nowadays, it’s all too common to measure our popularity, likeability and self-worth through the narrow lens of online connections, the perfect lives shown on highlight reels and the metrics of likes and followers.

Decluttering your relationships shouldn’t make you feel mean or selfish or send you into a spiral of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out).

It doesn’t mean that it has to be instant, confrontational, awkward or permanent. It may just mean that in this stage of your life, you’ll lean more naturally TOWARDS some relationships and lean AWAY from others – in a gradual, gentle and compassionate way.

Importantly, relationships are two-way. So, by decluttering your relationships, you can also ensure that you’re able to GIVE as much as you RECEIVE. The QUALITY of your relationships improves even if the QUANTITY of those relationships may reduce.

This article is all about giving you some practical tools and tips on how to balance your individual needs with our very human need for connection and social bonds.

WHY DECLUTTERING RELATIONSHIPS IS IMPORTANT

First of all, let’s look at some reasons why decluttering relationships is important.

1. Mental And Emotional Health

Relationships have a profound impact on our mental and emotional well-being. Positive relationships can boost our mood, provide support during tough times, and enhance our overall happiness. On the flip side, toxic and difficult relationships can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression.

By decluttering our relationships, we make room for more positive connections and reduce the emotional burden of negative ones. Think how great you feel when you’ve been with someone who’s vibe you love, compared with how drained you might feel after having spent time with someone who’s not on your wavelength? This isn’t a judgement by the way, it takes all sorts of people to make the world go round and some people tend to get on better than others!

2. Better Focus And Productivity

Negative relationships can be incredibly draining. They can distract us from our goals and consume our mental energy. By minimising our contact with those who drain us, we free up mental space and energy to focus on what truly matters, be it our career, hobbies, or personal growth.

Admittedly, we can’t completely control who we interact with such as colleagues, customers and even family, but we can choose how we REACT to those interactions.

3. Improved Self-Esteem

Being around people who respect and appreciate us boosts our self-esteem. Toxic relationships, however, often involve criticism, manipulation, and belittlement, which can cause negative introspection and harm our self-worth.

Prioritising relationships with supportive and encouraging people helps us feel better about ourselves. Adults, just like kids, respond well to praise and positivity, and speaking kind words is a great way to boost our confidence and happiness levels so that we can pay it forward to others too.

4. Healthier Boundaries

Decluttering relationships teaches us the importance of setting boundaries. It helps us recognise our limits and what we will and won’t accept. This practice is essential for maintaining healthy and respectful relationships but also maintaining a healthy approach to looking after our physical, emotional and psychological needs.

5. More Time For Meaningful Connections

Every relationship needs regular work. By letting go of superficial or toxic relationships, we make more time for the people who truly matter to us. As most of us lead busy, full-on lives that don’t often leave space, time or energy for much beyond the daily grind, this is so vital. It means we can invest more in relationships that are mutually beneficial and fulfilling. Building friendships can be hard work, especially in adulthood, so making time and space for them to grow and develop becomes more important.

HOW TO DECLUTTER RELATIONSHIPS

Decluttering relationships doesn’t mean abruptly cutting people out of your life. It’s about thoughtful and intentional evaluation of which relationships add value and meaning to your life.

Don’t forget, this can take a variety of shapes and forms as different relationships and people contribute to our lives in many different ways.

Here’s how you can start decluttering relationships in your life.

1. Reflect On Your Relationships

Take some time to think about each relationship in your life. How do you feel after interacting with this person? Do they support and uplift you, or do they bring you down? Reflecting helps you identify which relationships are worth keeping.

2. Identify Toxic Patterns

Look for patterns of negativity, manipulation, and disrespect. Relationships should be based on mutual respect and support. If someone consistently makes you feel bad about yourself, it might be time to reconsider their place in your life.

3. Communicate Your Needs

Sometimes, people may not realise they’re being toxic or negative. Have an honest conversation with them about how you feel. Use “I” statements to express your feelings without placing blame. For example, “I feel stressed when we argue about this.”

4. Set Boundaries

Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships. Decide what you are and aren’t willing to tolerate. Communicate these boundaries clearly and stick to them. For example, if a friend constantly calls you late at night, let them know that you’re not available after a certain time.

5. Gradual Distance

If a relationship is particularly toxic but difficult to end, try gradually distancing yourself. Reduce the frequency of interactions such as calls and messages and limit your availability. This gives you space to breathe and re-evaluate the relationship and over time, the connection may dwindle and fade.

6. Seek Support

Decluttering relationships can be challenging. Seek support from trusted friends, family, or a therapist. Talking about your feelings and getting an outside perspective can help you navigate this process. It may take time to unravel your thoughts and change your patterns of behaviour.

7. Focus on Positive Relationships

Spend more time nurturing the relationships that bring you joy and support. Plan activities with friends and family who make you feel good. Block out time in your schedule for a phone call and face-to-face chat whenever possible, instead of a text message or email (although these are better than nothing!). Make it a regular activity and try not to let it slide when life gets busy.

THE BENEFITS OF DECLUTTERED RELATIONSHIPS

If decluttering the relationships in your life feels tough, or you’re supporting someone else to declutter THEIR relationships, it may be helpful to keep in mind some of the positive outcomes you may think and feel.

Like any decluttering project, it also helps to understand what you’re trying to achieve and why. Decluttering should be about intentionality. It isn’t just getting rid of stuff for the sake of it!

Increased Happiness: When you surround yourself with positive, supportive people, your overall happiness increases. You’ll find more joy in your interactions and feel more content in your daily life.

Reduced Stress: Less drama means less stress. By removing toxic relationships, you’ll hopefully experience a significant decrease in stress and anxiety which is far better for your mental health and well-being.

Stronger Connections: With more time and energy for meaningful relationships, these bonds grow stronger. You’ll build deeper connections with people who genuinely care about you.

Personal Growth: Positive relationships encourage personal growth. When you’re supported and encouraged, you’re more likely to pursue your goals and dreams with cheerleaders motivating you and people to whom you can be accountable.

Better Health: Stress from toxic relationships can take a toll on your physical health too, not just your mental health. Reducing this stress can lead to better sleep, improved immune function, and overall better health.

CONCLUSION

Decluttering relationships is not about being selfish. It’s about self-care and prioritising your well-being. By working on more positive connections and letting go of toxic ones, you create a healthier, happier life.

Remember, you deserve to be surrounded by people who uplift and support you. So, take a deep breath, reflect, and think about decluttering relationships in your life.

And, as I said at the beginning of this article, this doesn’t have to be abrupt or mean, it might just be a gradual move towards building deeper, more meaningful connections as the opportunity comes about.

What do you feel about the relationships in your life? How do you deal with more challenging relationships which you don’t feel are based around mutual give and take? Have you found it difficult or more liberating to let go of relationships that no longer support you?

Please leave a comment below as I’d love to hear your thoughts…

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Focusing on meaningful relationships in your life is really about defining your priorities and making time for what matters. You can learn more about this and get clear on YOUR priorities with this free worksheet I’ve created to help you get started. Pop your details in the box below so I know where to send it!