9 Ways to Help Someone Declutter Their Home (Gently but Effectively)

Decluttering can be difficult. Many of us who’ve tried it would say it takes a certain amount of trial, error and effort. But, what do you do if it’s not your stuff or your home? In this article I’m sharing 9 ways to help someone declutter their home, gently and effectively.

THE CHALLENGES OF HELPING SOMEONE DECLUTTER THEIR HOME

Supporting someone you care about as they declutter their home can be a helpful, rewarding and even bonding experience—but it can also be delicate. Our belongings often carry memories, emotions, and meaning. So when you’re stepping into someone else’s space to offer help, it’s important to do so with kindness, patience, and compassion.

Whether you’re helping a parent downsize, supporting a friend who’s feeling overwhelmed, or working alongside a partner to create a more peaceful space together, here are some gentle but effective ways to help someone declutter—without pressure or judgement.

They may even help if YOU feel stuck decluttering, are hard and judgemental with yourself and need to find some ways to have a kind and gentle, supportive conversation with your inner self!

9 WAYS TO HELP SOMEONE DECLUTTER THEIR HOME

There are many benefits to decluttering, for our physical and mental health and to make the home easier to keep clean, accessible and safe. If you’re supporting a friend or relative to declutter, I hope these tips are helpful so you can do so with compassion and as little stress as possible.

1. Start With a Conversation, Not a Bin Bag

Before you dive into any cupboards or drawers, have a relaxed and open conversation. Ask them how they feel about their home and if there are any areas they’d like help with. Listen carefully to their responses. This isn’t about pushing your agenda—it’s about understanding their needs and offering support.

Try saying:

“I’d love to help if it feels right for you—no pressure at all.”

By opening the door gently, you show respect for their space and their feelings.

2. Lead With Encouragement, Not Criticism

Even well-meaning comments like “You don’t need all this” can feel hurtful. Instead, use positive reinforcement. Celebrate their progress and reassure them it’s okay to take things slowly.

Say things like:

“You’re doing really well.”

“It’s totally normal to find this hard.”

“Even one drawer is a great start.”

Encouragement goes a long way—especially when someone feels uncertain or emotionally attached to their things.

3. Start Small and Keep It Simple

Choose one small area to begin with—like a kitchen drawer, bedside table, or bathroom shelf. Finishing a small space gives a lovely sense of achievement and helps build momentum.

Avoid large or sentimental areas (like old photos or the loft) until they feel more confident.

You might suggest:

“Shall we start with this one drawer and see how you feel?”

Small steps often lead to big progress, without the overwhelm.

4. Ask Gentle Questions

When they’re unsure about letting something go, ask gentle, supportive questions to help them decide for themselves.

Try:

“Do you still use this?”

“Does this make your life easier or more cluttered?”

“Would someone else benefit from this more than you do now?”

The goal isn’t to force a decision but to help them reflect and find clarity.

5. Offer to Take Away Items Straight Away

If they decide to let go of things, offer to take them to a charity shop or recycling centre as soon as possible. This removes the mental load of “dealing with it later” and helps create visible results in their space.

You could say:

“Would it help if I popped these to the donation centre for you tomorrow?”

It’s a simple gesture, but it can ease stress and keep the momentum going.

6. Respect Their Boundaries

If they want to keep something, even if you wouldn’t, respect that. Remember, it’s their home and their decision. Your role is to support, not to judge.

Let them know:

“It’s absolutely fine to keep that—this is your space, and it should feel right for you.”

Trust builds when people feel they’re in control of the process.

7. Celebrate the Wins (Big and Small)

Every bag donated or drawer cleared deserves a moment of celebration. Decluttering is often emotional work, so acknowledge and appreciate the effort they’ve made.

You might say:

“Look at how much lighter this space feels now!”

“You’ve made such a lovely start.”

Encouragement fuels motivation—especially for the next round.

8. Be Patient and Come Back Later

Decluttering is rarely finished in one go. It may take multiple sessions over weeks or even months. Be patient and gentle if progress slows. Come back with a fresh cup of tea and the same loving support as before.

Remember: this is a process, not a race.

9. Help Them Create a Vision for Their Space

Ask them how they want their space to feels so they can enjoy their home more. Peaceful? Airy? Welcoming? Helping someone connect with their why gives direction and motivation.

Try:

“How would you love this room to feel when you walk in?”

Having a vision helps guide decisions more easily and makes the process feel more purposeful.

FAQs ABOUT HELPING SOMEONE DECLUTTER

Here are some other questions that you might come across if you’re helping someone else declutter their stuff.

1. What if they don’t want help or feel defensive?

That’s okay. Decluttering can feel vulnerable. Plant the seed gently, and let them know you’re there if they ever want support—no pressure.

2. What if they want to keep everything?

Focus on easier categories first (like rubbish, broken items or duplicates). Respect their pace. Change often comes after a few small wins.

3. How do I stay patient if they’re moving slowly?

Remind yourself that this is their journey. Slowing down often means they’re thinking deeply and doing the emotional work needed to let go.

4. What if they get upset or emotional during the process?

That’s very normal. Pause, offer a cup of tea or a walk. Listen. Sometimes, people just need space to honour memories before moving forward.

5. Can I declutter for them if they give me permission?

Only if they truly want you to—and only for non-sentimental items. Always check first. Better still, work alongside them if you can.

6. How do I avoid accidentally upsetting them?

Watch your tone and body language. Ask, don’t assume. Use “we” language (“Shall we look through this shelf together?”) and show kindness.

7. How do I keep things moving without taking over?

Break things into small chunks, agree on one area to tackle at a time, and always pause to check in: “Would you like a break, or shall we keep going?”

MORE ON THIS TOPIC

Here are some more articles you might find helpful:

• Decluttering Other People’s Stuff: 6 Helpful Tips
• Living With A Hoarder: 12 Helpful Tips
• 9 Decluttering Tips for Hoarders to Help You Get Rid of Stuff
• 10 Decluttering Mindset Tips For Easier Decluttering
• Is Decluttering about Letting Go or Getting Rid of Stuff?
• Decluttering Tips for Seniors

If you’d like more ideas, why not check out the Clear Your Clutter Workbook? This has room-by-room decluttering checklists and lots of journal style prompts and questions. They take you through all the different things you have to do and think about as you declutter your home in a simple, practical format. Learn more about Clear Your Clutter here.

CONCLUSION

Helping someone declutter their home is about so much more than clearing cupboards. It’s about showing up with kindness, listening without judgement, and gently guiding them towards a space that feels lighter and more peaceful.

Clutter doesn’t just appear overnight so it’s only natural that it might take time to declutter. This is especially true as you’re not just dealing with the build up of physical stuff but habits and patterns of learned behaviour.

Decluttering can be emotional and deeply personal, so tread gently—but don’t underestimate the power of your encouragement. With patience, empathy, and a few practical steps, you can help them feel supported, empowered, and proud of the space they’re creating.

And who knows? You might even feel inspired to tackle a few corners of your own along the way.

GET YOUR FREE CHECKLIST

One of the ways to break down the barrier to decluttering is to start with some really quick and easy projects so you can get some quick wins under your belt and build confidence to move onto more difficult parts of the home. I’ve put together a checklist of 40 quick decluttering projects which might help. Pop your details in the box below so I know where to send it!