9 Decluttering Tips for Hoarders: How to Start When You Struggle to Let Things Go

Decluttering can be difficult for many of us. Knowing what to keep and what to let go of isn’t always a simple choice. If you’re prone to hoarding, or live with a hoarder, the sheer scale of the task can seem overwhelming. Here are some easy strategies and 9 decluttering tips for hoarders.

DECLUTTERING TIPS FOR HOARDERS WHEN YOU STRUGGLE TO LET GO OF THINGS

If you struggle to let things go, the best way to start decluttering is to make the decisions smaller, slower and less overwhelming. You don’t need to clear your whole home in one go – gentle, repeated progress can make decluttering feel much more manageable.

I know this because I’ve lived with someone who finds it genuinely difficult to get rid of things. My husband is a collector and a classic “what if?” person, so I’ve seen first-hand how different decluttering can feel when simply deciding what to keep becomes the hardest part.

If you’re struggling with clutter yourself, or you’re trying to declutter a home you share with someone who finds it difficult to let things go, these tips are for you.

The aim isn’t to force yourself to become a minimalist overnight. It’s to make decluttering feel a little easier, one decision at a time.

Further Reading: How to Declutter Your Home and Life

A note about hoarding and decluttering

The word “hoarder” is often used to describe someone who has a lot of clutter or finds it difficult to get rid of things. But having a cluttered home and having a hoarding disorder aren’t necessarily the same thing.

This article is about the practical side of decluttering when you find it particularly difficult to let things go. Perhaps you keep things because you might need them one day, feel guilty about wasting money, or become overwhelmed when you try to decide what to get rid of.

If possessions are seriously affecting your safety, your relationships or your ability to use parts of your home, decluttering tips alone may not be enough. In that situation, it’s worth looking for professional support rather than feeling that you simply need to try harder.

There is no shame in finding decluttering difficult. The important thing is finding an approach that feels manageable and supportive for you.

Further Reading: 15 Reasons Why Decluttering is Hard (and Solutions)

My experience of decluttering with a “what if?” person

My husband is a collector, a “what if?” person and someone who doesn’t particularly like change. Getting rid of things doesn’t always come naturally to him, and over the years I’ve learned that telling someone they have too much stuff isn’t a particularly helpful way to make decluttering easier!

I had to learn a different approach.

When I started simplifying our home, I could see benefits that weren’t always obvious to the rest of my family. I was spending less time looking after our things, it was easier to keep the house running and I felt happier in our home.

My family weren’t immediately convinced. But by trying different approaches, taking things slowly and learning from what worked (and what really didn’t), I gradually worked out that decluttering doesn’t have to mean one enormous clear-out.

Sometimes it’s about making one small decision, then another, and giving yourself time to get used to the idea of having less.

So these are the decluttering tips I’ve found most helpful when getting rid of things feels difficult.

Further Reading: How to Declutter When You Feel Overwhelmed by Stuff

9 decluttering tips when you struggle to let things go

If you struggle because you’re a hoarder, or you live with a hoarder, here are 9 decluttering tips for hoarders which I hope may help!

1. Don’t Expect To See A Difference Overnight

If you’ve been struggling with clutter and letting things go for a long time, it can take time to develop new habits and become more comfortable with making those decisions.

If you find it difficult to let things go, you might well be a little sceptical of the benefits.

If you expect to see a magical difference to your physical space and mental well-being, then you need to give it a little time. Things won’t change overnight just because you’ve thrown something out, and it’s no excuse not to give it a go in the first place just because there’s no immediate impact.

Declutter some items and give it time to see how you feel about letting these things go. Get comfortable with the idea that decluttering isn’t about getting rid of stuff, ticking it off your To Do list and never doing it again. Sustained, consistent efforts will build up a decluttering habit that supports you in the long-term.

Instead of asking yourself, “How am I going to declutter my whole house?”, ask yourself, “What small area or handful of things could I deal with today?”

A small amount of progress is still progress. And once you’ve experienced that first little win, the next decision often feels a bit easier.

Further Reading: Progress Not Perfection in Decluttering and Why It’s Important

2. Pick An Easy Place To Start

If you’re new to decluttering or find the process difficult or emotional, then make it easy on yourself. Admit that you find decluttering a challenge, that you’re easily going to be side-tracked or put off. Prepare yourself for decluttering with these 11 simple things to do before you start decluttering.

Then start decluttering in an easy place. Pick an area of your home, or a room, or a type of item that’s going to be as easy as possible to start with so you can practice your decluttering skills. Decluttering gets easier with practice as you learn to sift through things and become more comfortable making decisions on whether you want to keep or get rid of something.

I always suggest the bathroom is a good place to start as it’s not full of sentimental items to hold you up, you know what you use and what you don’t and it doesn’t tend to be a massive space with huge storage areas so you can get it done relatively quickly and efficiently. Don’t start with somewhere notoriously tough like the attic or garage! Try these tips on how to declutter your bathroom.

Decluttering is largely to do with confidence. Confidence that you’re doing something difficult right now but for long-term gain. Confidence that you can make real and positive change even if it feels tough. Confidence that the decisions you’re making are the right decisions for you. Starting somewhere easy will help build this confidence.

If you’re not sure where to start, look for things that don’t carry much emotional weight.

Good places to start include:

• toiletries you no longer use
• expired products
• obvious rubbish
• duplicate items
• things you already know you don’t want

I’d leave sentimental items, photographs, family keepsakes and other emotionally difficult possessions until you’ve built some confidence with easier decisions.

The aim at this stage isn’t to make the biggest possible dent in your clutter. It’s to practise making decisions and prove to yourself that you can let a few things go.

3. Deal With The ‘What If’ Scenario

“What if I need that again?” is a common reason why we hold on to things in case we might use them or need them in the future.

I always think it’s best to deal with this question head-on with an honest answer. I can’t honestly say to my husband that I’ve never needed something I’ve got rid of. But those occasions have been rare, and the benefits I’ve experienced from having less stuff have massively outweighed them.

The benefits I receive from decluttering my stuff massively outweigh those very, very odd occasions when I’ve got rid of something I later wish I’d kept. And, I’ve got decluttering down to a fine art so I know what I’m throwing out (or donating) and what items I’m keeping.

If something is high value, difficult to replace and I’ve used it a lot (but not just at the moment) then I’ll think long and hard about getting rid of it. Just weigh up in your own mind whether you really, really value that item enough to keep looking after it.

If decluttering is scary because you’re wondering about the ‘what if’, go slow and be gentle. You don’t need to get rid of everything right now, slow baby steps will help you achieve the same end result, albeit a bit slower. However, if it makes the process feel more comfortable and more sustainable, then a slower pace will work better in the long-term.

When you’re tempted to keep something “just in case”, try asking yourself:

• Have I actually used this recently?
• How likely am I to need it?
• Could I borrow or replace it if I genuinely needed it?
• Would replacing it be expensive or difficult?
• Is keeping it worth the space it takes up?

You don’t have to convince yourself that you’ll never need the item again. That’s impossible to know.

Instead, you’re weighing up the likelihood of needing it against the cost of keeping it, storing it and looking after it in the meantime.

And if you’re still really unsure, it’s okay to leave that decision for another day. You don’t have to conquer every difficult item in your first decluttering session.

4. Declutter In Waves

Don’t feel that you have to make every decluttering decision the first time you look at an area. Instead, try decluttering in waves.

First pass: remove the obvious things you don’t want, use or need.

Second pass: look again at the things you’re unsure about.

Third pass: tackle the genuinely difficult decisions.

This works because you don’t have to go from “everything stays” to “everything goes” in one enormous leap.

You can get comfortable with having a little less, see how your space feels and then come back another day.

You might remove one book from an overstuffed bookshelf today, one ornament from a windowsill tomorrow and a few more things next week.

Decluttering gets easier with practice. The more small decisions you make, the more confident you become about the things you really do want to keep.

5. Don’t let money you’ve spent keep you stuck

One of the hardest things about getting rid of something can be remembering how much you paid for it.

It can feel wasteful to throw away, donate or give away something that cost good money. But the money has already been spent. Keeping something you don’t use doesn’t get that money back.

Instead, try asking yourself whether the item is earning its place in your home now.

If you use it, need it or genuinely value it, keep it. If you don’t, you might decide that the space, time and attention it takes up are no longer worth it.

I like to donate most of my unwanted stuff so even if I am getting rid of it, I know someone else will have some benefit. Very occasionally I do have to buy something which I’d previously decluttered but this happens so rarely. Decluttering my home has given me so many benefits that I don’t ever regret throwing something out. I just put it down to one of those things and move on.

Further Reading: How To Declutter Without Feeling Wasteful

6. Knowing What To Keep And What To Get Rid Of

This is always a tricky one for decluttering beginners and it does get easier with practice. But, if you’re a hoarder, this can be a really big stumbling block to stop you from decluttering. My suggestion would be to keep it really simple.

Just ask yourself 3 questions:

• Do I love it?
• Do I need it?
• Does it add value to your life in some way?

If the answer is no to all 3 questions, then let it go.

And remember, you don’t have to make every decision immediately.

If you’re genuinely stuck, put the item to one side and come back to it later. Sometimes a little distance makes the decision much easier.

The goal isn’t to become someone who can instantly throw everything away. It’s to become more confident about recognising what genuinely deserves a place in your home.

Further Reading: Decluttering Decisions: How To Decide What To Keep

7. Have A Plan For Your Decluttered Items

Once you’ve put all your effort into decluttering, don’t undo this hard work by leaving your unwanted items lying around. Not only will they still be cluttering up your space, but you might be tempted to dig around and pull out a few things!

Have a plan before you declutter for what you’re going to do with your unwanted stuff and deal with it all as part of the decluttering process. Don’t stop until you’ve taken your unwanted items to the charity shop or rubbish tip!

Before you start, decide what will happen to the things you no longer want.

You might donate them, give them to someone who can use them, recycle them, sell them or take them to the tip.

Just be careful with selling. If you have a pile of unwanted possessions waiting to be photographed, listed, packaged and posted, you’ve potentially just moved the clutter from one place to another.

Choose the easiest realistic option and give your unwanted things an exit route as part of the decluttering process.

For more tips on dealing with your unwanted clutter, read this article on what to do with unwanted stuff you’ve decluttered.

8. Set A Timer

Sometimes things are easier if we break them down into manageable chunks. The same goes for decluttering. If it seems too daunting or too big a job, then set your timer for 5 or 10 minutes and declutter until the alarm goes off.  A few minutes each day will be better than not doing it at all, and as I’ve said before, decluttering takes practice. You’ll get more efficient and find it easier, the more you do it.

Choose one tiny area rather than trying to tackle an entire room.

If you only manage five minutes, that’s fine. You’ve still made five minutes’ worth of progress.

And if you feel like carrying on when the timer goes off, you can. The timer is there to make starting easier, not to give you another task you have to complete perfectly.

You might like to read this article on how to declutter fast for some handy little tips!

Further Reading: 8 Two-Minute Decluttering Tips That Make My Home (And Life) Easier

9. Go Easy On Yourself

If you’ve been struggling with clutter and letting things go for a long time, it may take a while to adapt to a new way of thinking about your stuff and what you do with it. Old habits die hard.

Remember why you’re decluttering and if you’re not clear on your why then grab a notebook and make some notes right now. We often make decisions based on how we feel so HOW do you feel about your life (and your home) right now, WHY do you want to declutter and WHAT do you want it to do for you?

When you get stuck with your clutter, go easy on yourself and turn back to your answers and remind yourself of your ‘why’. 

You aren’t failing because decluttering feels difficult.

If you’ve spent years collecting, keeping and looking after things, you can’t expect yourself to suddenly become comfortable getting rid of them in an afternoon.

Give yourself permission to go slowly. Your home didn’t become cluttered overnight, and it doesn’t need to become perfectly organised overnight either.

Another way of being easy on yourself is to reward yourself if you’ve completed a decluttering project. This doesn’t mean you can go out and buy loads of clutter again but go out and have fun with the kids, treat yourself to takeaway pizza instead of having to cook. Decluttering isn’t meant to be a form of punishment but instead of way of bringing more ease, less stress and more freedom into your life so have fun with it too!

What if you live with someone who won’t declutter?

Decluttering can be even more complicated when the things you want to clear aren’t entirely yours.

If you live with someone who finds it difficult to let things go, try not to turn decluttering into a battle. You can’t force someone else to value their possessions in the same way you do.

Instead, start with what you can control.

Don’t secretly throw their things away

Even if you think something is obvious rubbish, getting rid of somebody else’s possessions without their permission can damage trust and make future conversations about decluttering much harder.

Start with your own belongings

Declutter your own things first and let the other person see how the changes affect your home. You might find that your example is more helpful than repeatedly asking them to get rid of things.

Agree on shared spaces

You may not be able to agree about every possession, but you can have conversations about shared areas of your home.

Think about what you both need from spaces such as the kitchen, dining table, hallway or living room and agree on some simple boundaries.

Talk about the impact rather than blaming the person

Instead of saying, “You’ve got too much stuff”, try explaining what the clutter means for you.

Perhaps you can’t relax in the room, you’re embarrassed to have guests over, you’re spending too much time tidying, worried about who will deal with your stuff after you’re gone, or you don’t have somewhere to do something you enjoy.

You’re much more likely to have a productive conversation if you’re talking about the problem rather than criticising the person.

Accept that you may not agree

You don’t have to think an item is worth keeping for someone else to value it.

Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is find a compromise that allows you to have a home that works for everyone.

5 things not to do when decluttering is difficult

When decluttering feels emotionally difficult, it can be tempting to go too far in the opposite direction and try to get everything done as quickly as possible.

Try to avoid these common traps:

1. Don’t try to clear your whole home in one weekend. Small, sustainable progress is often easier to maintain.
2. Don’t start with your most sentimental possessions. Build your confidence with easier decisions first.
3. Don’t force yourself to decide everything immediately. Some decisions become easier when you’ve had time to think.
4. Don’t secretly get rid of somebody else’s belongings. Decluttering works much better when everyone has a say in their own possessions.
5. Don’t compare your home with someone else’s. Your aim isn’t to create a picture-perfect minimalist home. It’s to create a home that works better for you and your life.

How to stay on top of clutter after you’ve decluttered

Getting rid of clutter is one thing. Keeping it from building up again is another.

If you want your progress to last, the answer isn’t necessarily to become better at massive clear-outs. It’s to make small changes to the way you deal with your belongings every day.

Try to:

• deal with unwanted things sooner rather than later;
• pause before bringing new things into your home;
• give the things you use regularly a home;
• do small, regular decluttering sessions;
• notice when you’re keeping something “just in case”;
• revisit difficult areas from time to time.

You may also find that changing your mindset around your possessions makes a difference. Instead of asking whether you could keep something, start asking whether you actually want to keep looking after it.

That’s where decluttering becomes more than simply getting rid of stuff. It’s about creating a home that supports the way you want to live.

Further Reading: 10 Decluttering Mindset Tips For Easier Decluttering

Frequently asked questions about decluttering when you struggle to let things go

How do I start decluttering if I want to keep everything?

Start with something easy and relatively unemotional. Choose obvious rubbish, duplicates or things you already know you don’t use. You don’t need to make difficult sentimental decisions straight away. The aim is to practise letting go and build your confidence gradually.

What should I declutter first?

Start somewhere small and easy, such as the bathroom. Toiletries, expired products and duplicates are often easier decisions than sentimental possessions. Leave areas such as the loft, garage, photographs and family keepsakes until you’ve built some confidence.

How do I stop keeping things “just in case”?

Ask yourself how likely you are to genuinely need the item, whether you’ve used it recently and whether it would be difficult or expensive to replace. You don’t need to guarantee that you’ll never need it again. You’re simply deciding whether the possibility is worth the space and effort of keeping it.

How do I declutter when I feel overwhelmed?

Make the task smaller. Choose one drawer, one shelf or one category rather than an entire room. Set a timer for five minutes and stop when it rings if you’ve had enough. Small amounts of progress can make a big job feel much more manageable.

Should I throw away someone else’s clutter?

Generally, don’t secretly get rid of somebody else’s possessions. Their belongings are theirs to decide about. If clutter in shared spaces is causing problems, talk about the impact and try to agree some boundaries that work for everyone.

How long does it take to declutter a very cluttered home?

There’s no fixed timescale. It depends on how much you have, how difficult you find making decisions and how much time you can realistically give to the process. If you’re finding decluttering particularly difficult, slower progress can be more sustainable than trying to do everything in one huge clear-out.

What if I can’t decide whether to keep something?

You don’t have to decide immediately. Put the item to one side and come back to it later. You can also ask yourself whether you love it, need it or whether it genuinely adds value to your life. Sometimes a little distance makes the answer clearer.

CONCLUSION

Decluttering when you find it difficult to let things go isn’t about suddenly becoming someone who can throw everything away without a second thought.

It’s about making slightly easier decisions, one at a time.

You might start with five minutes today. Tomorrow you might let go of a few more things. Over time, those small decisions can add up to a home that feels calmer, easier to manage and more like the life you actually want to live.

So don’t worry about doing it perfectly.

Pick one small thing and start there.

Want a little more help with your decluttering?

If you’re ready to make a bigger start but aren’t sure what to tackle first, my Clear Your Clutter workbook can help you work through your home step by step.

It’s designed to help you make those tricky decisions, let go of the things you no longer need and create a home that feels calmer and easier to manage – without trying to do everything at once.

Click here to learn more about Clear Your Clutter.