Why You Struggle to Stick With Habits (And What to Do About It)

If you’re wondering why you struggle to stick with habits, it’s not about willpower—it’s often about unrealistic goals, forgotten routines, or habits that don’t fit your real life. In this article we look at a few small shifts you can make to build habits that actually last.

DO YOU STRUGGLE WITH CREATING NEW HABITS AND STICKING WITH THEM?

If you’ve ever felt frustrated by your inability to stick to a new habit—even when you really want to—you’re not alone. In this article, I’ll share some gentle, realistic strategies to help you build habits that last, even when motivation fades. No guilt. No all-or-nothing thinking. Just small, meaningful steps that work in real life.

Creating new habits sounds simple—until you try to stick with them.

You start with the best of intentions. A new morning routine, a daily walk, a commitment to declutter one drawer a day.

But then life happens.

You miss a day, then two. Motivation dips. You feel frustrated, maybe even a little like a failure. And before you know it, the habit is gone.

Sound familiar?

If so, please know you’re not alone. There’s often a reason why habits don’t stick, and thankfully, there are ways to stick with your habits and stay motivated.

In this article, I’ll share what I’ve learned through personal trial and error, as well as what science tells us about behaviour change—and how to use it to build habits in a way that feels calm, realistic, and kind to yourself. You shouldn’t feel guilty or lazy just because you can’t make a habit stick. We don’t need that kind of pressure.

WHY HABITS OFTEN DON’T STICK

There’s a common myth that building habits is just about willpower. But willpower is a limited resource—it can run out, especially when you’re tired, stressed, or overwhelmed. Real habit change relies more on your systems than your motivation.

Here are a few common reasons habits fizzle out:

1. You’re Trying to Do Too Much, Too Soon

We tend to overhaul everything at once—new bedtime, new diet, new decluttering routine—all in one go. But change takes energy, and too many changes all at once is exhausting. Your brain needs time to adapt.

Instead: Focus on one habit at a time and start smaller than you think you need to.

2. You Rely Too Much on Motivation

Motivation feels amazing—but it’s often unpredictable. You might feel ready and excited one day, but flat and overwhelmed the next. If your habits depend on motivation alone, they’re more likely to fade.

Instead: Make habits easy enough that you can do them even when motivation is low.

3. You’ve Set Vague or Unrealistic Goals

Broad goals like “get organised” or “be healthier” are hard to act on. They don’t tell your brain what to actually do. And big, time-consuming habits don’t always fit into real life.

Instead: Make your habit clear, measurable, and realistic within your day.

4. You Expect Instant Results

We often expect immediate payoff—whether it’s a clear house or more energy. But habits are like planting seeds: change is slow, steady, and often invisible at first. The real transformation builds over time.

Instead: Celebrate showing up, not just results. Let progress be enough.

WHAT’S HELPED ME (AND MIGHT HELP YOU TOO)

As someone who loves simplicity and structure—but also lives a busy and sometimes chaotic life (kids, running our own family business…) —I’ve had to find gentle, flexible ways to build habits that actually work. Here’s what’s helped:

1. Start Small—Really Small

When I wanted to build a morning routine, I used to write out 6-step checklists. It lasted two days.

What did work? Starting with just one step: open the curtains and drink a glass of water.

That small act created momentum. And once it felt automatic, I added more.

Try this:

Pick one tiny version of your habit. Think:

• 1-minute stretch
• Write one line in your journal
• Clear one drawer
• Step outside for 2 minutes

Let it feel so easy that there’s no resistance.

Remember: Small isn’t lazy—it’s strategic. Small steps, done consistently, create lasting change.

2. Pair the Habit With Something You Already Do

This is called habit stacking, and it’s a game changer. You link your new habit with an existing one so your brain has a built-in reminder.

For example, I added a quick 5-minute tidy-up right after making my morning tea. The tea was already part of my routine—now the tidy-up is too.

Try this:

“When I [existing habit], I will [new habit].”

Examples:

• After brushing your teeth ? write your To Do list
• After school drop-off ? walk for 5 minutes
• After dinner ? tidy the kitchen counter

Linking habits together builds a natural rhythm into your day.

3. Make It Visible and Easy

Out of sight often means out of mind. If your habit relies on remembering or digging something out of a drawer, chances are it’ll get skipped.

Try this:

• Leave your journal on your pillow
• Keep your water bottle on your desk
• Set out your walking shoes the night before
• Use sticky notes, alarms, or wall reminders

Tip: Prepping the night before can make a habit 10x easier to follow through with.

4. Track Progress in a Kind, Non-Perfectionist Way

Tracking habits can be helpful—if it’s used as a gentle nudge, not a guilt trip. It’s not about streaks. It’s about awareness and encouragement.

Try this:

• Use a printable tracker (like the one you can get at the bottom of this article), a calendar, or a notebook.
• Check off the days you do the habit—but don’t punish yourself for missed days.
• Missed two days? That’s okay. Just aim to show up again the next day.

Progress > Perfection.

5. Know Your ‘Why’

When your habit feels hard or boring (because it will sometimes!), remembering why it matters can help you keep going.

Not just “I want to go to bed earlier” but:

“I want to feel calmer and more rested so I can show up better for myself and my family.”

That emotional connection gives your habit depth and meaning.

Try this:

• Write down why this habit matters to you.
• Keep it somewhere visible.
• Return to it when you need a boost.

A FEW EXTRA TIPS THAT HELPED ME

1. Build Habits Into the Flow of Your Day

It’s easier to build habits around existing routines—morning, lunchtime, evening—rather than trying to fit them in randomly.

2. Use a Fresh Start Moment

The start of a new day, week, month, or even season can give you a clean-slate feeling that helps with habit change. Use that natural momentum!

3. Find Accountability (If You Need It)

You don’t need a buddy for every habit, but sometimes sharing your intention with a friend, group, or even your journal adds a layer of support and follow-through.

MORE ON THIS TOPIC

Here are some more articles on building habits which you might find helpful:

• 10 Simple Things to Do Tonight to Save You Time Tomorrow
• 7 Calming Evening Habits for Better Sleep and an Uncluttered Mind
• 10 Great Organisation Habits to Help You Declutter and Simplify Your Life
• How Atomic Habits Help Us Make Lasting Changes in Life
• 11 Microhabits That Can Change Your Life
• 24 Simple Daily Habits to Make Life Easier
• How to Develop Self-Discipline Without Losing Your Peace

CONCLUSION

Building habits takes time, patience, and plenty of grace. You’ll have days when you forget, fall off track, or feel unmotivated. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it just means you’re human!

Instead of giving up, try starting again… just smaller, gentler, and maybe a little more realistic with what you can achieve.

And so, over to you… What’s one habit you’d love to build this month? What’s held you back in the past? What would change if it finally felt easy? I’d love to hear from you so please leave a comment below!