10 Kind Ways to Say No Without Causing Upset

Do you sometimes feel pressured into doing things or worried what people will think if you say no? I’m a people-pleaser so that’s something I’m very familiar with! In this article I’m sharing 10 kind ways to say no without causing upset. Protect your time and boundaries, look after yourself and stop over-committing.

WHY DO WE FIND IT SO DIFFICULT TO SAY NO?

If I received money every time I’ve said yes to something but in my head wished I’d said no, I’d be a very rich lady! Joking aside though, saying no is one area of time management that I’ve struggled with hugely over the years. I’m good at staying focused, being organised and keeping an eye on my screentime, but what I haven’t quite mastered is the art of saying no.

I don’t know whether that’s because I’m a people-pleaser, or that I struggle with admitting to myself that I can’t do everything, but I’ve never really found a way to say no that I feel comfortable with.

Sometimes I worry that people will think less of me, or that I’ll miss out on some exciting opportunity or that I won’t get asked again, or that I’ll be letting people down.

Anyway, regardless of the cause, I decided a while back that I had to find ways to say no more often.

WHY SAYING NO IS IMPORTANT

After all, saying no is so much more than a productivity hack that gives you some time back. Knowing how to say no is a valuable tool in your self-care tool box, to help you have less to do, less to stress about and more free time and mental space.

Putting it bluntly, feeling confident enough to say no is an important act of looking after yourself and living a simple, intentional life that feels good.

Sometimes no can mean no forever, sometimes no can mean that it’s not for right now. Either way, saying no is a little bit like a muscle that gets stronger the more you use it.

As you read these examples of different ways to say no, bear in mind how and when you might like to use them in your own life. In fact, what would you like to say no to this week?!

10 KIND WAYS TO SAY NO (WITHOUT UPSETTING ANYONE!)

If you’re like me and find saying no uncomfortable, I hope this article helps. We’ll look at some ways you can say no without feeling guilty, selfish or that you’re causing upset or offence.

1. “I really appreciate you thinking of me, but I have to say no this time.”

This response acknowledges the request and shows gratitude before declining. It’s perfect for social invites, favours, or work opportunities where you want to make it clear that you value the person asking but just can’t commit right now. This response works because you’re starting with appreciation, so you soften the no and make it clear that your decision isn’t personal.

2. “I’d love to help, but I don’t have the capacity right now.”

This one is great for work, volunteering, or even family commitments. It expresses a genuine willingness but also sets a clear boundary. It works because it reassures the other person that if things were different, you might have said yes, but you’re simply at full capacity right now.

3. “I’m really flattered, but I have to focus on my priorities at the moment.”

When someone offers you an opportunity or invites you to take part in something exciting, it’s easy to feel pressured to say yes. This response acknowledges the compliment but keeps you in control of your time. This response reminds both you and the other person that your time and energy should be spent on what truly matters to you.

4. “That sounds amazing! I’m going to pass this time, but please keep me in mind for the future.”

Sometimes you’d love to say yes, but the timing isn’t right. This lets you decline in a way that keeps the door open for another time. More than that though, it reassures the other person that your no isn’t a rejection of them, just a matter of timing.

5. “I wish I could, but it’s not possible for me right now.”

This response is firm but still warm. You don’t need to give excuses or over-explain—sometimes, no is enough. This response works because it’s polite, clear, and final, leaving no room for pressure or negotiation.

6. “I’m trying to be more mindful of my time, so I won’t be able to take this on.”

If you’re working on setting better boundaries or simplifying your schedule, this response communicates that without feeling like you need to justify your decision. It reinforces your personal commitment to being intentional with your time, which can also inspire others to do the same!

7. “I have other commitments I need to focus on, so I won’t be able to say yes.”

This is a good all-rounder. It works for work, social events, or anything else where you already have too much on your plate. This response is a good one because it makes it clear that your decision is about your existing commitments, not about the request itself.

8. “I’m taking some time for myself at the moment, so I won’t be able to.”

Prioritising yourself is just as important as any other commitment! Whether you need rest, downtime, or personal space, this is a kind way to say no without guilt. This response works because it normalises self-care and reminds people that you don’t always have to be available.

9. “I don’t think I’m the best person for this, but I really appreciate you asking me.”

Sometimes, we say yes because we feel like we should, not because we’re actually the right person for the job. If you’re not the best fit, it’s okay to say so. This response is honest and allows the other person to find someone who can truly help.

10. “I won’t be able to make it, but I hope you have a wonderful time!”

For social invites, this is a great way to decline while still sending positive energy. It keeps things light and friendly. I think it removes any awkwardness and shows that you still care, even if you can’t be there.

OVERCOMING COMMON CHALLENGES WHEN SAYING NO

I’ve suggested some ways that you could say no more often, whether they’re around social invitations with friends, work commitments or more generally. But, exactly why DO we find it difficult to say no?

Here are some of the main reasons I’ve come across that makes such a small but important word really quite difficult to say. Do you recognise any of them for yourself?

1. Feeling Guilty When We Say No

One of the biggest struggles with saying no is feeling guilty. If this sounds like you, remind yourself that saying no allows you to say YES to what truly matters. It’s not selfish—it’s necessary.

2. The Fear of Disappointing Others When We Say No

Another common fear is the fear of disappointing others. But here’s the truth: a true friend, colleague, or family member will respect your boundaries. And if they don’t? That’s a sign that your boundaries were needed in the first place.

3. Feeling Like We Have to Over-Explain When We Say No

Some people feel pressured to explain themselves too much. If you find yourself over-explaining, practice keeping your no short and simple. You don’t need to justify your decisions to anyone.

4. The Fear of Missing Out If We Say No

And let’s not forget FOMO (fear of missing out)! If you struggle with this, focus on what you gain by saying no—whether that’s peace, energy, or time to focus on your own priorities.

OTHER WAYS YOU CAN MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF

Saying no is about self-care and time management. Looking after yourself and giving you back some time in an otherwise busy schedule.

But saying no is just one strategy. There are several more you could try and I thought it might be helpful to share three of them here in case they may help you:

1. Create a Supportive Morning Routine

Finding some time and space for yourself each morning can really help you get a head-start on the day. Time for yourself to prepare your body and mind, or to tackle something on your To Do list. Read more about creating your own morning routine.

2. Reduce Distractions in Your Day

The world is a busy, noisy place and it’s easy for us to lose focus and get side-tracked. Make a point to limit distractions such as checking your emails too many times or wasting too much time on social media. Here are some other distractions you might want to overcome.

3. Set Goals and Review Them Regularly

Goal-setting isn’t just for the New Year. I’m a great believer in setting goals for my week and month too. This doesn’t mean they’re set in stone but rather so I have a clear purpose for my time and that the things I want to achieve are really still important and meaningful. There’s no point working towards something if if doesn’t matter to you as much as you thought! Read this article to learn more about how to set goals that really count.

CONCLUSION

Saying no is a skill that takes practice, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes. By setting gentle but firm boundaries, you create a life that aligns with your values and priorities.

Every time you say no to something that doesn’t serve you, you’re saying yes to something that does. So, go ahead—protect your time, prioritise yourself, and live a life that feels peaceful, intentional, and fulfilling.

And now over to you! Do you struggle to say no or do you find it easy? Has it become easier the more you practice saying it? I’d love to hear from you so please leave a comment at the end of the article.

MORE ON THIS TOPIC

Here are some more articles you might enjoy:

• 7 Ways To Be Intentional With Your Time
• 8 Ways to Make Time For Yourself Without Feeling Guilty
• 18 Signs You Are Too Busy and What To Do About It