Do you know what you want from life, let alone how to make that happen? In this article we explore 7 ways to define your values and how this can help you make decisions, take action and shape a more intentional and meaningful life.
SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE?
Intentional living is really just a fancy way of saying you know what you want in life and you make it happen. This is what I discovered over a decade ago when I was feeling burnt out from juggling kids and work and everything in between.
When I first discovered the benefits of decluttering my home I soon found that the same principles could be applied to my life – in its simplest form – keep what matters and let go of what doesn’t. Thus began my more intentional and purposeful approach to building a meaningful life.
Whilst it certainly wasn’t as easy as that in practice, it remains the paradigm for my life and how I make decisions. Decisions about what food to keep in my cupboards to decisions about where I want to live and what I want to do when I retire. Small and big decisions alike.
But how do you go about deciding what you want and making it happen? Well, you start from within – your core beliefs, your mission, dreams and hopes in life and – as this article focuses on – your values.
A VALUES-LED INTENTIONAL LIFE
Living with intention means making choices that align with your values. But how do you know what truly matters to you? Defining your values isn’t always straightforward, especially when life pulls you in many different directions.
Your values are the core principles that guide your decisions, shape your relationships, and help you feel fulfilled. When you live by them, life feels more meaningful and balanced.
7 WAYS TO DEFINE YOUR VALUES AND SHAPE AN INTENTIONAL LIFE
If you’re unsure about your values or want to refine them, here are 7 ways to define what matters most and create a life that reflects your true self.
1. Reflect on Your Past Experiences
Looking back at your life can give you clues about what’s important to you. Think about moments when you felt happiest or most proud. What were you doing? Who were you with? What about those experiences felt meaningful?
Equally, reflect on the times when you felt frustrated or disappointed. What was missing? Did something go against your beliefs? These moments can highlight values that are deeply rooted in you.
For example, if you felt most fulfilled when helping someone in need, kindness or service might be important values for you. If dishonesty in the workplace made you uncomfortable, integrity might be a key value.
2. Identify What Inspires You
Look at the people you admire, whether they are close to you or well-known figures. What qualities do they have that you respect? Is it their honesty, resilience, or compassion? The things that inspire you in others can point to values that matter in your own life.
Similarly, pay attention to the causes, books, or stories that resonate with you. If you always find yourself drawn to environmental issues, sustainability might be one of your values. If you’re passionate about fairness, justice could be an important principle for you.
3. Clarify Your Priorities
What are the things you want most in life? Your values shape your priorities, and understanding what truly matters to you can help you focus your energy in the right places.
Write down different aspects of life—career, relationships, health, learning, creativity, adventure, contribution, and personal growth. Rank them in order of importance. This exercise can help you see where your values lie and whether your current lifestyle aligns with them.
For instance, if family is your top priority, but your work keeps you away from them, you might need to make adjustments for a better work-life balance. If learning ranks high but you rarely set time aside for it, you might want to find ways to prioritise personal growth and development.
4. Notice Your Everyday Decisions
Our values show up in the choices we make every day. Pay attention to your decisions—both big and small—and ask yourself why you make them.
Do you spend time helping others because you value generosity? Or stand up for yourself because you value self-respect? Do you prefer spending money on experiences rather than material things? These decisions reflect what truly matters to you.
If you find yourself making choices that don’t sit well with you, it might be a sign that you’re not living in alignment with your values. Recognising this can help you make adjustments.
5. Define Your Non-Negotiables
Your non-negotiables are the things you won’t compromise on, no matter what. These are strong indicators of your core values.
Think about situations where you’ve had to make tough choices. What principles guided you? Maybe honesty is so important to you that you refuse to lie, even if it’s inconvenient. Perhaps work-life balance matters so much that you won’t take a job that demands long hours.
List your non-negotiables. These can be qualities in relationships, expectations in work, creating a home that you love, or personal boundaries. Knowing them will help you stay true to yourself, even in difficult situations.
6. Write a Personal Values Statement
Once you have a clearer idea of your values, try writing a personal values or mission statement. This is a simple paragraph that summarises what matters to you and how you want to live.
For example:
“I value honesty, kindness, and growth. I strive to be truthful in all areas of life, treat people with compassion, and continuously learn and improve. My relationships are important to me, and I prioritise spending time with loved ones. I also value adventure and seek new experiences that challenge me and bring joy.”
Your statement doesn’t have to be perfect, and it can evolve over time. The goal is to have a guiding principle that reminds you of what truly matters.
7. Align Your Life with Your Values
Defining your values is just the first step. The real challenge is making sure your daily actions reflect them.
Look at your current lifestyle and see if it aligns with your values. If you value health but rarely exercise, how can you make movement a bigger part of your life? If creativity is important but you haven’t made time for it, how can you change that?
Small changes can make a big difference. Setting boundaries, shifting priorities, and making conscious choices will help you live in a way that feels true to who you are. It’s time to stop playing small and live the life you want to lead.
CONCLUSION
Defining your values is a powerful step toward living with intention. When you know what matters most, decisions become easier, relationships feel more authentic, and life feels more fulfilling.
Remember, your values may evolve over time, and that’s okay. The key is to regularly check in with yourself, trust your gut instinct, reflect on your priorities, and make adjustments as needed.
By taking these steps, you can create a life that truly aligns with who you are—one that feels meaningful, balanced, and deeply satisfying.
Have you ever stopped to consider your values? Do they play a role in helping you make decisions and take action? What values do you live by and have they changed over time? I’d love to hear from you so please leave a comment at the end of the article.
Antonia Colins is the creator of Balance Through Simplicity, a website helping busy people declutter their home and life and live more intentionally. She has over 20 years of personal and professional experience in juggling work and family life and supporting individuals to remain independent and enjoy their home more. In her spare time, you can find Antonia walking, reading or planning her next travel adventure! She lives in the UK with her husband and teenage kids. Get your free Declutter Starter Kit.