Letting Go of Your Fantasy Self: How It’s Holding You Back from Decluttering

Your fantasy self is the ideal version of you and the life you’re leading that we hold in our heads. Sometimes it can rule our heads, hearts and decisions. In this article we look at letting go of your fantasy self and how it may be holding you back from decluttering.

IS YOUR FANTASY SELF TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO?

Have you ever looked around your home and wondered why you have so much stuff that you never actually use? You’re not alone. A big reason we struggle to declutter isn’t just because of sentimental attachment or “what if I need this one day” thinking. It’s often because of something called the fantasy self.

Your fantasy self is that ideal version of you—the person you wish you were, rather than the person you actually are. And I know from personal experience, your fantasy self can be a bit of a hoarder!

I used to have shelves and shelves of books. Some I’d read, others I’d planned to read, a few I’d picked up because I felt I “ought” to read them as part of my passion for life-long learning. The problem was that many of these books were heavy reading and needed my focus and concentration – not the kind of fun, light-hearted quick reads that I actually enjoyed (and had time for) as a busy working parent!

Understanding and accepting this about myself eventually meant that I could declutter the books that I didn’t want to keep or read for my “today self” without guilt or frustration.

What does your real “today self” need to let go of from your home?

WHAT IS THE FANTASY SELF?

Your fantasy self is the version of you who reads every book on your shelf, even though you mostly watch Netflix. It’s the person who wears stylish high heels daily, even though you live in comfy trainers. It’s the person who buys expensive art supplies for that creative hobby you keep meaning to start but never actually do.

The fantasy self is aspirational. It’s full of good intentions. But here’s the hard truth: keeping things for your fantasy self often leads to clutter, guilt, and frustration.

HOW THE FANTASY SELF AFFECTS DECLUTTERING

When you hold onto things because of who you WANT to be rather than who you actually ARE, your home fills up with unused, unloved items. Instead of reflecting your real life, your space becomes a storage unit for dreams that aren’t happening.

Here are some common examples:

• The Fitness Guru You – You own a treadmill, a full set of weights, yoga blocks, and resistance bands… but you hate working out at home and would rather take a walk outside.
• The Master Chef You – Your kitchen is bursting with fancy gadgets, cookbooks, and obscure ingredients, but most nights, you order takeout or make something quick and simple.
• The Crafty You – Your cupboards are full of fabric, paints, and supplies for a DIY project you’ve been “meaning to start” for years.
• The Fashionable You – Your wardrobe is packed with trendy outfits, but in reality, you live in leggings and jumpers.

Holding onto these things doesn’t make you that person. It just creates clutter and reminds you of what you haven’t done, which can feel discouraging.

WHY IT’S OKAY TO LET GO

Letting go of items linked to your fantasy self isn’t admitting defeat. It’s actually freeing! You’re making space for who you really are and what you truly enjoy.

Think about it: when you declutter these things, you’re not saying, “I’ll never be creative” or “I’ll never get fit.” You’re simply admitting that right now, in this season of life, these items don’t serve you. And that’s okay.

Plus, removing fantasy self clutter means less guilt, less overwhelm, and more room for the things you genuinely love and use. Decluttering is about distinguishing between wants and needs.

HOW TO DECLUTTER FANTASY SELF ITEMS

• Be Honest with Yourself – Ask, “Do I actually use this, or do I just like the idea of using it?” If it’s been collecting dust for years, it’s probably time to let it go.
• Release the Guilt – You don’t owe an item space in your home just because you spent money on it. Keeping it won’t bring the money back, but letting it go can bring relief.
• Give It a New Life – If you’re struggling to part with something, think about donating it to someone who will genuinely use and appreciate it.
• Set Realistic Goals – If you still really want to be that person, set a short-term challenge. Love the idea of painting? Use your art supplies within the next month. If you don’t, it’s time to pass them on.
• Enjoy the Space You Create – Once you clear out the clutter, notice how much lighter and more peaceful your home feels. Your space should reflect the real you, not an imaginary version.

CONCLUSION

Decluttering your fantasy self isn’t about giving up on dreams. It’s about embracing who you are today and making your home a reflection of your real life. Letting go of things that no longer serve you is empowering—it creates space for new opportunities, real passions, and a sense of ease in your everyday life.

So, what’s one fantasy self item you’re ready to say goodbye to? Let me know in the comments at the end of the article!

MORE ON THIS TOPIC

Here are some other decluttering articles which you might find helpful:

• 35 Journal Prompts for Decluttering Your Home and Life
• Decluttering When You Feel Overwhelmed by Stuff
• Is Decluttering about Letting Go or Getting Rid of Stuff?
• Decluttering With ADHD: 9 Tips to Help Clear Clutter
• 8 Decluttering Truths I Wish I’d Understood Sooner

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